There’s been way too much patriarchy going on for way too long …

Especially in words.

And particularly those words suggesting the presumed vigor, muscularity and forcefulness associated with mature manhood.

But fortunately we have a lower legislative branch in Washington finicky and fussy — but diligent — in assuring a fair-minded and unbiased approach toward freedom and equality in words.

It’s been brought up in the House of Representatives that in order to peel away the layers of patriarchy hounding us since 1776 and beyond, we should change or eliminate entirely such worrisome and hurtful expressions as ….


He, and


Our highly skilled congresspeople might as well toss a few more words into the debate (if not the trash can).

Such as:

MAN-ners. MAN-slaughter. MAN-ipulate. And MAN-ure.

Plus, maybe MEN-ace, MEN-tal, MEN-u, MEN-ial and MEN-dacious.

Not to mention MALE-factor, MALE-volent and MALE-diction.

We could add to the list HIS-trionics and HIS-sy fit, I suppose.

In search of a non-violent path forward the discontented congresspersons could make our lives easier by changing — or outlawing completely — hard-to-spell words such as:

Accommodate, embarrass, yoghurt, indefatigable and nemathelminthes (a phylum, or category including the nematodes and horsehair worms).

They’d do us a tremendous favor by eliminating the inguinal hernia altogether — and not just the word. It’s even more painful than it is hard to spell.

Congresspersons deserve our respect in navigating this minefield of conflicting and overlapping grievances and indignities.

Not to do so is injudicious, irresponsible, imprudent, impertinent and nullifidian.

Or words to that effect.

• • •

There’s nothing especially wrong with joking about President Biden’s age, as long as it’s just joking. It’s especially OK if the President happens to be four years and 10 months younger than you are.

Myself, I think of the prez as a whippersnapper. Sort of.

• • •

The most popular player on almost any football team is the backup quarterback. Until he gets into a game and proves why he is the backup quarterback.

Corky Simpson is a veteran journalist who writes a column for the Green Valley News.