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From the editor: L.A., Mickey and the kids

The Shearer Men discover they have family in Hollywood. The Shearer women politely declined to be in the photo.

Published: Saturday, August 1, 2009 8:45 PM MST


It’s been just over a week since we returned from vacation, but I’m still shaking off the effects of four days in California.

Our three kids, all teenagers, swore they were the only children in the free world yet to visit “The Happiest Place On Earth,” so we headed to Disneyland.

We walked through the gate at 8 a.m., and by 10 a.m. I was screaming uncle. But only to myself. When you pay $69 a ticket, you don’t want to ruin it for everybody else.

The next day we went to Laguna Beach, where we saw a rogue wave drag several children into the surf. The lifeguards kicked into action in a true “Baywatch” moment, and I — in the throes of work withdrawals — was glad to be on the scene of breaking news. (The kids were rescued, all is well.)

Then we headed to Hollywood (see photo, say what you will, get it out of your system). Our children loved the stars on the Walk of Fame. If we’d known they’d be this happy spending the day looking at a sidewalk, we’d have skipped paying hundreds of dollars to that oversized rat in Anaheim and just come here.

All this to say, Southern California has nothing on Green Valley. Here are a few reasons why:


  • I much prefer our definition of a traffic jam: Five cars backed up at that light heading into Wal-Mart. In L.A., even the car-pool lanes on the freeway are often at a dead stop.

  • Meal for five at IHOP-Anaheim: $65. Same meal here: About $40. Paying $11 for a burger cuts into the tip. I’m just being honest here.

  • People in California can’t take a joke. A large crowd of weepy Michael Jackson fans gathered around his Walk of Fame star in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. I poked my head into the circle and asked, in a stage whisper, “So, is he still dead?” Nobody laughed. Crass? Sure, but it was a legitimate question because the strange truth is that the Southern California media won’t let the man die. The wall-to-wall news coverage has not slowed in the L.A. media. Michael lives, sort of.

  • Our smog — and we have some — is much prettier. Kind of a Navajo White instead of their chestnut brown.

  • Our mountains are better than their ocean. On any given day anybody in Green Valley can walk outside and take in the incredible Santa Ritas. In California, only the elite and the bums under the Santa Monica pier have ocean views. The other 13 million people in metro L.A. have to fight their way to the coast, pay through the nose for parking, hope nobody rips off their car, and walk a half-mile to the beach — which will be crowded, mostly with people from Arizona.

    But I won’t be one of them next time. As we headed back home I told my wife that’s it — last vacation to California.

    “I know I said this after our last three trips here, but I mean it this time,” I said.

    But the truth is, I don’t care where we go on our next vacation. When we looked at our pictures last week, it wasn’t about Disneyland, the ocean or Hollywood stars. It was about the five people whose faces popped up over and over again in all the photos, it was about the memories we made and the tighter bonds we forged. I’m keenly aware that, soon, our children will drift away, get married, start families and take their own vacations.

    Then, it’s back to Disneyland. With the grandkids.

    I can’t wait.

    — Dan Shearer



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    Reader Comments

    The following are comments from the readers. In no way do they represent the view of gvnews.com.

    manuel coppola wrote on Aug 3, 2009 5:31 AM:

    " Been there, done that....for the past seven years! And the kids are talking about next year's visit! Thanks for the chuckle. "

    Joette wrote on Aug 3, 2009 8:16 AM:

    " Great article; every word expresses my sentiments, too. "

    Vicki Siegel wrote on Aug 3, 2009 8:27 AM:

    " I enjoyed your article Dan - it showed your sense of humor as well as your "sensitive man side". However, as a native Southern Californian....I'll still take the ocean any day! "

    Ellen Sussman wrote on Aug 3, 2009 3:26 PM:

    " Your wit is funnier than Disneyland (and free,) safer than the rogue waves of the Pacific and beats the sandy beaches any day. "

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