Talk of the Town: And the knucklehead award goes to...

Every year, the Darwin Awards, a chronicle of enterprising demises honoring those who improve the species—by accidentally removing themselves from it, list some of star knuckleheads. This tongue-in-cheek “honor” is named after evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin.

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree appeared to be the robber’s first, due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop.

The shop was full of customers—firearms customers.

To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.

A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work.

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup, and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, covered by several customers who also drew their guns, thereby removing the confused criminal from the gene pool. No one else was hurt.

Oscar Wilde’s penetrating “A Woman of No Importance,” directed by Susan Voorhees and assisted by Ray Hathaway, will be presented Jan. 29-31 at 7 p.m. and at 2 p.m. on Feb. 1 at the new theater at the Community Performing Arts Center, 1250 W. Continental Road. Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door and are available at CPAC, the Green Valley Sahuarita Chamber of Commerce and online at www.scschoestringplayers or www.performingartscenter.org.

“The challenge in selecting the cast for “A Woman of No Importance” was in picking new faces for some major parts,” Voorhrees said. “I feel really fortunate in that eight of our 13 member cast will be new to our audience. Working with these talented new people, as well as those with whom I am more familiar, is proving to be a real pleasure. It is a joy to watch how well they work together.”

“A Woman of No Importance” presents Oscar Wilde’s comedic and dramatic genius along with his expected social commentary. His distinctive style comes through in the opening act with a devastating take on the British aristocracy. His lords and ladies are either idiotic or amoral, depending on their level of intelligence. Despite having been written well over a century ago, the issues contained in the play are still fresh and relevant, with some rather strong feminist overtones.

Formerly the Reverse Raffle, Casa de Esperanza’s biggest fundraising event of the year—The Celebration of Hope—has a new name and a new look. Staged in the Diamond Center in Desert Diamond Casino on Sunday, Jan. 25, the elegant evening begins at 5:30 p.m. with cocktails and dinner. There will be great food and plenty of opportunities for fun. The event is an occasion to dress up and step out while contributing to the greater good by helping Casa help those in need. All proceeds from the event will benefit the Casa de Esperanza Scholarship Fund which provides adult day care, childcare, and counseling services to those who are in need.

The celebration features special raffle prizes and great bargains at a fabulous silent auction. After your premium salmon or steak dinner, you will be treated to the upbeat, amazing sound of Tucson Desert Harmony, Southern Arizona’s premier a cappella women’s chorus.

Tucson Desert Harmony, a local chapter of Sweet Adelines International, has successfully built an award-winning women’s chorus based in Tucson. The group of women sings four-part harmony in the barbershop style. They sing the familiar songs—the ones people like to hum along to. They also apply the barbershop style to many popular contemporary songs. The chorus competes annually with other choruses throughout a four-state region that includes West Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and Southern California.

This year’s entertainment also features Tucson Desert Harmony’s “Singing for Scholarship” program. Talented high school-aged singers, hand-picked by the chorus, will perform solos of their best song and everyone attending the event will vote for a winner—American Idol style.

Tickets are $95 each and are available at Casa de Esperanza by calling 520-625-2273. Deadline for ticket sales is Jan. 16. All proceeds will benefit Casa’s scholarship fund, which provides adult day care, child care and counseling for those in need.

For more info about Casa de Esperanza, visit: www.casacanhelp.org.

Duo Suzanne and Paul Vallejos will present a variety musical revue, “Broadway to Branson” on Sunday, Jan. 18, at 6 p.m. at Valley Presbyterian Church, 2800 S. Camino del Sol. Donations will be taken at the door.

Their program features tributes to Patsy Cline, Theresa Brewer, Connie Francis, Brenda Lee, Sophie Tucker, Karen Carpenter, Marty Robbins, Johnny Cash and more.

Accompanied by Paul on the keyboard and guitar, Suzanne has been dazzling audiences for more than 35 years.

rford@gvnews.com | 547-9740