Lamb on the Run: Here’s a toughie: who’s a millionaire?

Officemate Karen Walenga passes along these newspaper gaffes that ran on the Internet … “Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons” … “Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after 25” … “Alton attorney accidentally sues himself” … “County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds”…

… From an advertisement “get 50% off or half price whichever is less” … “One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers” and from a Question of the Day Column “Question: What constitutes a millionaire? Answer: a millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons” …

… “Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum” … and from a news story “A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was the mailman” … “Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison” … “5 p.m. — Police were called to Market Square for a report about a ‘suspicious coin.’ Investigating officer reported it was a quarter” … “Theft: a woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct. 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends” …

… “A caller reported at 7:14 p.m. that someone was on a porch yelling “help” from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling a cat that is named ‘Help.’” … “Wal-Mart Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito” …

… Correction: “Due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts Office, Diane K. Merchant, 38, was listed as being fined for prostitution in Wednesday’s paper. The charge should have been failure to stop at a railroad crossing. The Public Opinion apologizes from the error” …

Here are some pictures of license plates taken in the Portland, Maine, area by Bob Lyons of Green Valley … He and wife Jennifer were vacationing in the area and forwarded the pictures to the GVNews … Bob grew up in New England … Bob and Jennifer also have tried special plates on their cars … but more later …

… I will also tell you that between the years 1974 and 2001, Bob, often accompanied by wife Jennifer, has biked in all 50 United States…His final state ride was in Alaska in 2001 …

Jim Lamb is a reporter for the Green Valley News, and as a longtime newsman enjoys finding newspaper gaffes. If you’ve got some, pass them along…

jlamb@gvnews.com | 547-9749