Along the Way: Thoughts, musings and observations on Green Valley and beyond

Furthermore and then, again — thoughts while shaving and a bunch of other urgent stuff off the cuff ...

An attentive audience watched in awe as the woman in the silver Mercury executed a U-turn — in reverse gear — on the Safeway parking lot.

One bystander tipped his cap in appreciation as the Mercury finally lurched eastward on Continental Road. ...

A couple of other wily and impromptu maneuvers witnessed recently:

The motorist who pulled up in front of the Family Dollar store, parked her car in the wrong direction (against oncoming traffic) and next to a “No Parking” sign. And the fellow, probably in a hurry to get to La Placita Mexican Restaurant, who drove the wrong way on the wrong side of a divided roadway. ...

This is one devoted community when it comes to outdoor Christmas decorations. It really puts a glow on the holidays. ...

And have you ever seen such radiant — actually blazing — skies as we’ve had lately at daybreak and twilight? ...

You can tell when a movie reaches a critical point in the story these days. That’s when the characters start whispering. Can you imagine Rhett Butler whispering to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn?” In 1939, Scarlett would have said, “What? Huh? Speak up, dummy.” ...

Speaking of dummies, I am the world’s worst bridge player. I have trouble sorting cards, to begin with, and when they’re sorted, I have trouble counting them. Once they’re counted, if the other players haven’t lapsed into a coma, I have trouble bidding or responding. And the word is getting around Green Valley, I think. Twice I have enrolled in bridge classes and both times, the classes were cancelled. Someone must have tipped them off. ...

Where do you go to throw away dead batteries? Well, if you’re a construction worker and it’s trash pick-up day, you throw them in somebody else’s trash can. And if the owner says to you, “Hey, what’s goin’ on?” you shrug your shoulders, open your hands, palms-upward, and say in perfect English, “I’m sorry but I don’t speak English.” ...

Ever see crows the size of those monsters who scrounge around the Santa Cruz Valley? Pretty impressive, squawking and cawing as they glide through the air. Makes you worry that one of those Air Force fighter planes that occasionally skim our rooftops — rattling windows and testing our Pacemakers — might collide with a crowasaurus. ...

Why are prices for some things in Green Valley higher than in Tucson? I’ve seen the disparity in gasoline, for example, range from 20 cents to 45 cents a gallon more here than up yonder. ...

While the rest of the country gnashes its teeth about what power source should be used for transportation, it’s refreshing to know Green Valley has had at least a partial answer for a long time. Those electric golf carts are the perfect answer for short trips to the grocery, to church, to the White Elephant and heck, even to the golf course. ...

Who would be the honorary mayor of Green Valley if we had one? Probably a person who’s given years of her or his time volunteering for one of the many worthwhile organizations here. This is one heck of a “giving” community in that regard. ...

This friend says to me, “Ever notice how hard it is to buy a six-pack of beer these days? You can buy 12-packs or 20-packs or 24-packs (what we used to call a ‘case’) but you can scarcely find a six-pack.” ...

Well, maybe the six-pack is disappearing like running boards, hood ornaments and steering knobs — remember those? — on automobiles.

Former Tucson Citizen columnist Corky Simpson writes a weekly commentary for the Green Valley News.