Talk of the Town: The trials and tribulations of awkward situations

Out of the mouths of babes! Kids do say the darndest things!

Bloopers, blunders, and just plain brilliant observations. Kids can be quite amusing at times, without even knowing it!

It’s no secret, folks. I change my hairdo—a lot. So much so, people who work with me do a double-take, but hey, they’re used to it. Even my husband has walked past me in the street. (Of course, he just may be avoiding me, but that’s another story.)

Anyway, I was standing in the grocery line the other morning when I ran into an acquaintance who just so happens, had her very precocious four-year-old daughter with her. As we chatted away I noticed this child staring at me with a puzzled look on her face. I asked her about pre-school and waited for an answer. Nothing. After an awkward pause, she raised her hand (like they do kindergarten when they want to ask a question) and I called on her.

Without missing a beat, she blurted out these words: “My daddy says you change your hair as much as Dolly Pardon.” I do believe that she meant “Parton” with a “t.” She’s 4. What do you expect?

Anyway—her mother was just beside herself with embarrassment and turned the color of the tomatoes she was buying.

“I am so sorry,” she kept saying, over and over. “I am so sorry.”

I just laughed and asked the little tyke what she though of my new “do.”

“It’s OK,” she replied. “But you are not blond like Dolly Pardon.”

She was right on. I did let her know that her father was mistaken about one thing though.

“I don’t change my hair as much as Dolly Parton,” I told her. “I change my hair ‘more’ than Dolly Parton,” I said.

She just giggled and I’m not sure she even knows why.

That brings me to some easy ways to escape awkward situations, thanks to our friends at Real Simple:

“ Politeness requires seven or eight minutes” of conversation, says Letitia Baldridge, a former social secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy and author of “Taste: Acquiring What Money Can’t Buy.” After that, you can say “so long” to the bore.

At a cocktail party, assuming you haven’t made the mistake of sitting with the person, it’s fine to excuse yourself to get a drink or food, help the hostess, or make a phone call. To avoid an embarrassing getaway “caughtcha,” be sure to follow through on your excuse—that is, get a drink, help the hostess or make that phone call.

How to escape a story repeater:

Uncle Gus is telling you that story about catching the largest fish ever in Lake Winnibigoshish (say that three times fast)—for the sixth time. Do you let him know you’ve heard it before and can tell it better than he does.

“If the story is longer than a minute and the two of you are alone, do interrupt to tell him that you’ve heard—and enjoyed—that story once before,” says Margaret Shepherd, a co-author of ‘The Art of Civilized Conversation.”

Try: You had everyone on the floor with laughter when you told that story last Thanksgiving.” No need to tell Uncle Gus that you’ve heard that fish tale for the last four Thanksgivings. Try to segue to a related topic, and if possible, draw in another person to freshen up the conversation.

Important point to consider: With some older people whose memory may be slipping or when you are in a group, though, it can be cruel to interrupt, says Baldridge. “Patiently listen and wait for a chance to change the subject. If they’re thrilled to be telling the story, dismissing them too suddenly is like smooshing an ant.”

How to escape a sermon: You maybe able to escape faster, and avoid future rants, if you take a moment to hear the person out, says Shepherd.

“Don’t debunk their beliefs, tease, ignore, argue, scoff, or demean. They’ll just try harder to convince you.” Let the person spew for a couple of minutes before you introduce a neutral subject or make your exit.

Offensive rants—racist, sexist or obscene, are an exception. In those cases, cut the speaker off as soon as possible with a simple “Excuse me—I’ve got to go.” And make a dash for the door!

Green Valley resident Michael Finkelstein, who recently retired after 13 years from the Chamberlain Group, is now devoting himself to his favorite past time—music.

Finkelstein plays the trumpet, flugelhorn, cornet, and now the piccolo trumpet, an instrument heard in the Beatles’ hit song, “Penny Lane.” The modern piccolo trumpet enables players to play the difficult trumpet parts of Baroque music, such as Bach’s second Brandenburg Concerto and B-minor Mass.

Finkelstein will serve as treasurer as well as perform with the Green Valley Concert Band this coming season. He also performs with the Sierra Brass and in special jazz concerts with popular local pianist Allan Riding and his Jazztet.

Finkelstein is also volunteering to play Taps at services for veterans and their families when he’s called upon.

He says he got the idea recently when he attended a memorial service for a deceased veteran and Taps was performed with a CD.

“I really thought it spoiled a most touching moment,” Finkelstein says. “The uniformed men and the flag ceremony was wonderful, but I felt it was somewhat of a let-down when they had to turn on a CD to play Taps. I would have done it live for them—right on the spot.”

It was then that Finkelstein did some research and signed up Online with Bugles Across America, founded in 2000 by Tom Day after Congress passed legislation stating veterans had a right to at least when uniformed military people to fold the flag and play Taps on a CD player.

Bugles Across America was begun to take this a step farther. In recognition of the service these veterans provided their country, members believe that every veteran deserves a live rendition of Taps played by a live bugler. Currently, they are actively seeking volunteers to provide this valuable service to veterans and their families.

Bugles Across America now has more than 5,000 bugler volunteers located in all 50 states and a growing number overseas. Since the Department of Veterans Affairs is expecting more than 500,000 veterans to pass every year for the next seven years, Bugles Across America is always recruiting new volunteers.

Day will contact Finkelstein to play Taps when a request comes through his Web site.

Bugler Volunteers can be male or female. They can play a traditional bugle with no valves, or they can perform the ceremony on a trumpet, cornet, flugelhorn, or a one, two or three-valved bugle. The bugler can be of any age as long as they can play the 24 notes of Taps with an ease and style that will do honor to both the veterans, their families, and the burial detail performing the service.

Finkelstein will also be playing Taps for services accompanied by the American Legion Post No. 66 Color Guard when they are called to honor a veteran.

The group carpools to the location of the funeral or memorial service. There is no charge for this service. Contact Michael Finkelstein at 393-0317 about playing Taps or for more information.

There is still time to enter the directory cover contest.

“Green Valley’s Desert Dwellers: Feathers & Fur” is the theme of the 2009 Green Valley Community Directory Cover Design Contest. Entries are being accepted through Friday, Oct. 3, at the Green Valley Community Coordinating Council office, 101-14B S. La Canada in the Green Valley Mall. Winners will be announced in late November.

Any representation of the theme, “Green Valley’s Desert Dwellers: Feathers & Fur” will be accepted. Artists of all media are encouraged to enter. Images must be no larger than 8 inches x 10 inches. All entries must include the submitter’s name, address and phone number. No more than five entries per person will be accepted. Complete contest rules are available at the GVCCC office or on the GVCCC Web site, gvecc.org.

Previous covers have included photographs of the plants, animals and people of Southern Arizona, watercolor and oil paintings, computer generated art and digitally enhanced photos.

The Green Valley Community Directory, now in its 38th year of publication, is sponsored by the Green Valley Community Coordinating Council. Each year, more than 25,000 directories are delivered to area homes and businesses.

For additional information, please stop by the council office or contact Joyce Finkelstein at 648-1936.

Calling all pet lovers. There will be a low cost cat-dog vaccination clinic, Saturday, Sept. 13, from 7 a.m. to noon at the Sahuarita Safeway, 1301 W. Duval Mine Rd.

Feline vaccines include: $15 feline leukemia, $15 FVRCP and $25 for both (FVRCP feline distemper (panleukapenia), rhinotracheitis, and calicivirus. This vaccine protects cats from many common viruses ... and feline leukemia). Canine vaccines include: $10 rabies, $10 bordatella (kennel cough), $15 DHPPC (distemper, hepatitis, para influenza, parvo, corona) and $25 for heartworm test.

The organizers ask that cats be in kennels and dogs be secured on leashes.

Microchipping and preventative medicines i.e. Heartgard and Frontline will be available.

Marti Coleman, DVM is the veterinarian for this event sponsored with PAWS Professional Animal Wellness Services.

rford@gvnews.com }| 547-9740