Golf, the game for masochists

I just finished another round of golf and I’m once again convinced that it is a game developed by people who participate in masochism.

That is gratification gained from pain, deprivation or degradation inflicted on oneself, either as a result of one’s own actions or the actions of others, especially the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

How else can it be explained? It is one of the most humiliating experiences that one can encounter. Yet, millions of humans around the world participate. Some get paid to play!

Of course there are other persons who participate in kickboxing, demolition derbies, human cannonballs, sword-swallowing, snake-charming and the likes. There was Evel Knievel, Harry Houdini, Jesse Ventura and many others, but they got paid for their pain and suffering.

So why do we humans continue to participate in such nonsensical activities? After all, aren’t we more intelligent or are we simply deranged? You be the judge.

By now, undoubtedly, you are asking “why does he continue to play this game?” Darned if I know. Shows you how smart I am.

I have quit playing the game more 100 times per year, closely measuring to the number of times that I play. But, I keep coming back for more. Yikes!

Golfers are eternal optimists. They continue to believe that they will do better next time and they’re ecstatic if they, in fact, do. All it takes is one great shot on the 18th hole and one is hooked on a return round, only to be humiliated several days later when their lesser-talented alter ego shows up.

Of course, we have heard all the Pollyanna reasons for playing golf. It gets you out in the fresh air. It’s good exercise. It is a social sport. Think of those who can’t play but wish they could.

That is the same rationale as the “starving children in China” routine that my parents used to get me to eat my broccoli.

So, are there positive benefits derived from playing golf? You bet!

I have found that it is good for laughs if you can find the proper good-humored players for your foursome.

Then, there is the 19th hole, a sanctuary for analyzing the game while, possibly, drowning ones sorrows. Hardly anyone loses on the 19th hole unless they are paying off their wagers or had to suffer the further humiliating experience of buying drinks for everyone because of failing to drive the ball beyond the women’s tee box (obviously this applies only to men).

You see, other golfers enjoy the spirit of the game, especially when it involves the embarrassment of their fellow golfers. All in good fun, though.

And don’t you just love it when someone says, “Hey, it’s only a game.” Then why are we keeping score and, more importantly, why am I paying you because I lost?

If you are a psychology student, you will learn a great deal about human nature when playing a round of golf. It’s great for a graduate thesis. In that context, I could be a doctor.

In the final analysis, seemingly, I like to participate in masochism. A little humiliation is good for the soul. And, I am a master at humiliating myself on the golf course. Fore!

Guest columnist Don Severe can be seen around Green Valley’s golf courses attempting to hit that perfect approach shot.