Lamb on the Run: GV After Dark sounds like ZZZ snort grunt zzz SNORT

Excerpt from a column I’m working on about Green Valley After Dark… “zzzzzz snort ZZZ grunt snort snort argh zzzzzz hmn hmn zzz”…

…You get the idea…

Maybe she was asleep behind the wheel…Jennifer Bitton, 24, of Las Vegas has been arrested after traffic enforcement cameras in the Phoenix area showed she was speeding—22 times during a 45-day span…

…Bitton was temporarily staying with her parents in north Scottsdale when the cameras caught her…Once going 92 miles per…

…DPS nailed her for suspicion of criminal speeding, reckless driving and endangerment…

…There were no citations for terminal dumbness…

…But if you’re trying to get out of Phoenix, speeding should be an accepted excuse…

Some signs on the road, license plates to read … “GOT SOLD” … “VGEMITE” … “DOX HND” … “KIDS LAW” …

…And some submitted by champ spotters from GV Dot and John Hofman … “GOOBR” in South Carolina … “JDS JEEP” in Michigan and from closer to home “FUZZMAN” … “WE KAMP” … “BSERENE” … “TO A TEA” … “OH4REAL” … “GUSHR” …

Savahanna, Ga., cops arrested Bill Merit for public indecency when they saw him walking along the road—naked…

…He’d just been released from jail and told arresting cops that he didn’t take the clothes offered by jailers because he thought they were stolen…

…The report said Merit “appeared rational except for being naked”…

…He had been jailed on criminal trespass and disorderly conduct charges…

The company that makes Velcro celebrated its 50th year in business in Manchester N. H. recently…

…Velcro had a parade and then former and current employees ripped apart Velcro strips over the mile and a half parade route…

…The Associated Press said the sound of Velcro being torn apart rippled along the parade route…

…Velcro was invented in France, but the company moved to New Hampshire in the 60s…

…The idea for it came from Swiss engineer George de Mestral after looking at burrs that stuck to his dog’s fur and his wool pants during a walk in the woods…

…De Mestral named it Velcro from a combination of “velour” and “crochet”—French words for velvet and hook…

…You probably can’t spend a day without encountering Velcro or its imitations…

…It’s used for everything from sneakers and diapers to astronaut equipment and military body armor reported The Associated Press…

Jim Lamb’s a reporter for the Green Valley News and said he’s old enough to remember a Velcro-free world. He a little leery of it, thinking safety pins or some good stout stitches will do a better job…

jlamb@gvnews.com | 547-9749