The Single Life: Time to go into the closet

Moving brings an expensive decision with it — how to handle everything that lives in your closet.

Wardrobes, as the moving company calls them, loom large at the top of the cost per box.

So when you decide to relocate, look into the closet and figure out how to keep the costs down. Sort through what has been your outer and inner image for many years — the multiple pairs of shoes that you love and then the drawers full of undergarments — everything from night gowns to that wonderful cozy robe.

Give away braces that were popular when some marketing person decided that suspenders were so over. Keep belts that fit, but donate belts that would fit if you lost about 30 years to a local charity.

For me, everything had a story or a memory when I decided to move. So the process of winnowing down to keep costs down was painful.

Eventually it all got sorted out. I can remember another move from Chicago to California. It was the dead of winter and I took my down coat, my boots and hats and put them outside my apartment. They were gone in the morning.

When temperature broke 100 for the first time this year, I knew that I had to do some honest winnowing again.

This time when I went into the closet, there was a different body (and mind) doing the work. As well, there were no memories getting in the way. Now there is no one except me and my mirror that have to come to terms.

Somewhere along the line, your body started to show some signs from the pull of gravity or what was once your waist just plain evaporated. The mirror had the undisputed voice. The mirror always does.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, these pants don’t fit at all. Nor does this golf shirt — and anything else you begin to try on.

There are people who believe that some mirrors are more friendly than others. I know that’s a stretch, but think about it. There is a mirror in your guest room that, at least from a good distance, makes all the flaws seem less noticeable. Don’t look at yourself in the reflection of your car’s glass. It isn’t pretty.

Then there is the mirror in your master bathroom that most days shines bright natural light. That mirror has to look back at you when you begin the day and when you prepare for bed. This mirror doesn’t lie.

Like it or not, the mirror also shows you that, short of marathon liposuction, your favorite dress pants and a score of other garments that used to fit, now simply will not.

So what was so important at one time and filled those wardrobe boxes will get put back into hiding until I stop eating for a few months. This is not likely to happen, but it sure would be nice to slide a zipper and button a button without passing out from inhaling and holding my breath.

So as the seasons change, so does your body. Those good people that suggest ways to stay fit, eat well and get plenty of exercise may once have had the same dilemma. I’d guess their mirror did more than just reflect.

This summer, take those lovely silk-lined winter wool pants and hang them somewhere in your closet where you cannot miss them. Not only did you pay a small fortune for them some years ago, it just may be that come holiday time, you and your pants will have come to terms and you can let your mirror(s) admire just what has gotten into you.

Mary Ann Linforth is a Green Valley freelance writer. Contact her at maryannlinforth@aol.com.