Lamb on the Run: Going out in style in a beer-can casket

Earlier this month, The Associated Press reported that Bill Bramanti of South Chicago Heights had a special party to introduce to friends his casket — designed like a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer…

…Bramanti, a Glenwood village administrator, filled the silver casket with ice and cans of his favorite brew in red, white and blue…

… “Why put such a great novelty piece up on a shelf in storage when you could use it the only way Bill Bramanti would use it?” asked one daughter …

…The casket fits, Bramanti confided … “I actually fit because I got in here,” he said, adding he doesn’t plan to use it soon … He’s 67 …

Roadside reading, checking the license plates “NO WORYS” … and a few from all-time best plate spotters Dot and John Hoffman “GIGLLS” … “IM KOLD” … “NU START” … “AW NUTS” … and “BAD GOLF” …

Keep it in mind … but I’ll also remind you later … One of the windup sessions on improving and extending the east frontage road will be at 9 a.m., Tuesday, June 17, at the county supervisors meeting room in Tucson…

…And work has started for the west-side roundabout at I-19 and Canoa … Borderland Construction workers are building a temporary detour road to be used during the roundabout construction … Warning signs were to go up early this week…

Expecting a government “stimulus check?”…The IRS said the dates for people whose last two digits on their Social Security card are 00 to 09 should expect their checks by May 16 … Hello … that’s today…

…Here are the other SocSec card numbers and check delivery date: 10-18 on May 23, 19-25, May 30,

…26-38 on June 6, 39-51 on June 13, 52-63 on June 20, 64-75 on June 27, 76-87 on July 4 and 88-99 on July 7…

…And if you didn’t file on time, you’ll get zip, nada, nothing…Go ahead and water the lawn…

And for a couple of chuckles (I hope) here are some “humorous” quotes, first from the U.S. and then from Great Britain…

…“Experimental psychologist, a scientist who pulls habits out of rats,” Leonard Lewis Levinson…

…“Middle age is when we can do as much as ever — but would rather not”…“There’s no problem that’s so big or complicated that it can’t be run away from,” unknown…

…“Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is I can’t remember if it’s the 13th or 14th,” George Burns…

… “I always wake up at the crack of ice,” Joe E. Lewis …

…“I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes — and six months later you have start all over again,” Joan Rivers…

…“I wasn’t kissing her. I was just whispering in her mouth,” Chico Marx…

…Here are a few from Great Britain…

…“Never serve oysters in a month that has no paycheck in it,” P.J. O’Rourke…

…“He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him,” Herbert Beerbohm Tree…

…“The play was a great success, but the audience was a total failure,” Oscar Wilde…

… “Remember that as a youth, you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy that the phone is for you,” Fran Bebowitz…

…“You should always believe all what you read in the newspapers, as this makes them more interesting,” Rose Macaulay.

Jim Lamb is a reporter for the Green Valley News who enjoys a good laugh as much as the next guy. E-mail him at jlamb@gvnews.com.