BAJA boys end season with a bang

Another glorious senior softball season slips into another glorious sunset.

Four strong winds will scatter snowbirds off to exotic summertime climes, like Oregon, Michigan and Minnesota. They will watch the weather reports and thank the Lord they got back home a week before the pass froze over.

But their thoughts will wander back to GV and “wintertime,” where good friends and their wives came together, looking off to tomorrow’s reborn hope, when they will tee it up again for a brand-new league, brand-new visions, played with non-brand-new bodies.

With sadness and the knowledge that all good things must end, I present to you a synopsis of the famous final scene.

Wednesday, March 19: Playoffs! Double elimination.

Malibu Perlich’s Coldwell Banker Bangers came out of the chute like bull riders but couldn’t stay on till the bell. They looked for the clown but should have been made to wear blindfolds.

An early hike loomed in the tourney when they dropped Game 1, 16-12, against Mark’s Quality Water Rapids; Game 2 sealed the season.

They headed down the road when they fell to Keagy’s Edward Jones 10-4. Bob Schwankl pitched like he always does, while Joe Wilson and Dave Sheedy led the hitters.

Two Girls Pizza scored five runs in seven innings; you know how that one plays out. Right, you lose.

But a seventh-inning rally brought the score to a 10-9, more respectable loss, but still a terrible outcome. Triple Play put the ladies in the losers bracket, a slippery pit from which to climb. Dennis Dion hit two inside-the-park gappers with men on base for the offensive crunch.

Game 2. The ladies faced off against Meredith’s Hallmark; fancy gunplay opened up in the first round. Back and forth they went, all the way to extra innings.

Brandishing the ol’ rolling pin, the pizza pushers came back in the seventh with seven runs but caught another one-run loss, 19-18. Wow.

Art Janssen and Tommy Bahama Liedtke played the defense while league commissioner Mike Sommer brought in the runs.

As the light-blue ladies hung their heads in the dugout, they unlaced their dusty spikes for the last time this year.

A croaking, off-key rendition of Deana Carter’s apropos song warbled from their lips: “Did I shave my legs for this?” Even dustier palates slumped off to the cabana. Legs gone, they yelled up, ”Hand me down a beer!”

Here came Mark’s Manglers, screaming like banshees, blood in their eyes. The tide guys bolted from the dugout, and after a quick six were in front of Keagy’s fnanciers, 19-10.

With their season on the skids, the Keggers valiantly banged across seven runs in the last inning but came up lame. The tying runs were on base but that’s where they died.

The car greasers from Hickey Auto roared out and mugged Meredith’s Hallmark 17-5, then dry-gulched Triple Play 13-1, thus ending the week at 2-0, heading into Monday.

AZ Family Restaurant kicked off to Keagy’s Edward Jones and booted them all the way out of the playoffs. Gale “Rip” Van Hoorn aimed for the long ball all day but his shots got flagged down at the warning track.

With Monday, March 24, the deciding day for the playoff championship, four teams stood ready to dress: Mark’s, Hickey’s, AZ Family and Triple Play.

Friday league season-enders were meaningless, 3 1/2 Happy Barbers having deliriously hoisted the gold the previous week. No playoffs were on the calendar.

Insurance Center of GV, Jim Click and Baymont Inns also ran.

Of significance in outstanding individual play were: Dorie Carroll, four hits; Jim Carr, fine hitting and a defensive stalwart at third base; Dick Fryan, great catch in right field; Dennis Dion, who rubbed out two runners at the plate.

Monday, March 24

AZ Family Restaurant picked this time of year to come in on a high, a run of four straight.

They stayed in fifth gear against Hickey, who chose the last day to come out ice cold and listless.

How can you not fire up with so much at stake, with a realkindaprettygood lineup? Youbedajudge.

The Hicks came out like loose change and got scooped up by the eatery. Struggling to a 10-9 win, they dropped the lubes into desperation.

Triple Play played classy ball against Mark’s and put them in the loser’s bracket also. Three teams now faced the firing squad, one game away from elimination. AZ Fam had not been beaten.

The Trips matched up with Hickey in Game 2. Still stagnant, now stunned, the auto fixers somehow found the tools to come out on top, 9-8.

Manager Chuck Catino had plenty to worry about. The job requires psychology, counseling, babysitting and a bartender with a heavy hand.

Three teams left.

Meanwhile, down on the Sun Field, AZ Fam manhandled Mark’s. The surfers were unaccustomed to being knocked around, but could not shut off the fire hydrant.

The innings ticked off, and at the bell they headed for the hot dog stand and the archives, losing 10-8.

The place to eat in Green Valley was grinding up a steady diet of geezer burgers.

Two teams left for Game Last: Hickey stood at 2-1, AZ Family 3-0. Unbeaten, they had to lose two for the elim.

Hickey remained cocky but didn’t get much for their enormous self-confidence, which in the end was probably their demise.

Out they gimped, shaking like a dice box, and then crapped out, falling like autumn leaves.

Their leadoff hitter seemed in a trance, although he did manage three hits. As in ALL DAY LONG. A leadoff man has to lead, get on base three of every four times up.

But he came up empty and the rest of the guys followed right along, zombies.

Shortstop Lu Smith stole a hit up the middle on a major-league effort. Behind second base, he did a rollover flip to second for the force. I think he can catch a bee-bee in the dark.

Jimmy Pickard found the holes in a drawn-up outfield and continued to mystify with his bat mastery.

The rest is not cute; with the bases juiced, two out, last inning, a two-hopper to Bob (Big Cat) Kelly at third put the nail in their heart.

So it was all put to rest. Exuberant might be a useful term for the mood of manager Dick Fryan, last seen jumping over the moon. The gallant team took the trophy to their sponsor, AZ Family Restaurant, where it will rest for all the diners to gaze upon.

The annual picnic celebration took thoughts of softball from the minds of the gladiators and all their fans.

Glenn and Nancy Yauney, as ever, did a delightful job of serving up the hot dogs and refreshments, aided by the charming and proficient Cheryl Attwood. Cheers to them for another job without a hitch, no hollow bellies. The weather even chipped in with a smile and gentle breeze.

Commissioner Mike Sommer showed off his generosity. He’d arranged for the delivery of at least a dozen large, ultra-deluxe, multi-topping, mouth-drooling pizzas from his sponsor Two Girls Pizza. Folks, bust on down there for that extra-cheese stuff you used to get.

For those American Legion attendees, the pizzeria is about an 8-iron away.

Penultimately, the loss of star outfielder Claude La Barre has been a stone in our spikes. Immensely popular, he went down with a spinal injury. We all await his prognosis and pray for his good health and return. We all miss ya, buddy.

Item Last: Unanimously voted MVB (most valuable bartender) by the Cabana Boys was John Houghton. Parched with thirst, he led us from the dust into a Margaritaville oasis and took the edge from our weary bodies at the 19th hole.

We expect him to go in the first round of next year’s draft. A number-one choice on my team, for sure, and a five-run favorite at Caesar’s.

Happy trails, travel safe all you S’birds, and for those stuck in the pizza oven again this summer, think about January, the crack of the bat and the shouts of the Boys of Autumn.

See y’all then!

John Ledford is a member of the Born Again Jocks Assocaition.