The Single Life: The politics of sex

I’ve been thinking a lot about sex this week.

Not that kind of sex, but something like third-party sex. You get to watch or listen or read about the complex lives of other people, and sex comes right in your front door and most likely it was discussed over dinner.

In this one instance, there are more questions about the people who had sex rather than the actual act of having sex. Yet there for a while, it was batted about much like you would talk about it being time to change the oil in your car or how much money you have to spend at the casino.

I’m going to figure that you learned somewhere along the line that in order to have children, you had to have sex. You may have gritted your teeth or romped around in Saran Wrap to get there. It was your call. Most likely the local newspaper didn’t cover what went on behind your front door. It just worked that way, and in most cases it still does.

Here again, your combined desires resulted in what are now your children, grandchildren, perhaps your great-grandchildren. You can brag, send birthday cards and presents and spend holidays together and it’s doubtful that having sex, either outside or inside your relationship, is not on anyone’s mind.

I wrote a two-part column last summer about sex. I made you into a large classroom with the Birds on one side and the Bees on the other, and I just basically wanted to know how you felt about the topic. This is not a question easily put to the produce man at the supermarket.

As it tuned out, both sides were equally divided. People are curious, people have issues and people are very smart. Smart, especially when it comes to health. I talk to groups and sex is right up there with outliving your money.

Maybe it’s gotten to the point where we know too much. We’ve lived through public scandal after public scandal, shake our heads and wonder what they were thinking and then look for the basketball scores.

To be honest, my first reaction was to wonder what thousands of dollars a night delivered? Is it the idea that you can call the most expensive escort service simply because you can? Sex does not buy love. Money does not buy love.

Sociologists will have a field day with this. We will learn the meaning of sociopath, narcissism and look at each other and probably shrug. I think if I hear the expression ‘the oldest occupation/profession’ one more time, I will see if there are any in our local phone book.

If you paid attention in world history, you know perfectly well that kingdoms have toppled, wars have begun and religious battles fought and they were all the result of sex in one form or another.

I think what makes it so difficult for me is when something like this comes over our door step and there is a loud baying from others who wade in without invitation. Like me, I guess. And I know very well what will happen to this column. It will be read, perhaps shared or commented upon and then finally come to rest in the recycle bin.

Not a bad place to be by a long shot. To give love and to get love in return, no matter how you do it, still amounts to love, and for the majority of us, it remains free.

Mary Ann Linforth is a Green Valley freelance writer. Contact her at maryannlinforth@aol.com.