Along the Way: That will be a required $1 donation, please

It’s a fine bumper sticker. Blue with a little red and white. It says “Obama ’08.”

And it cost me a buck.

Did you think you had to pay for these things? Me, neither.

But the good folks at Democratic Party Headquarters at Green Valley Mall told me, “It’s a required donation.”

What about a Hillary sticker?

“Same thing. We require a $1 minimum donation.”

Required donation? Wouldn’t ’cha think that’s an oxymoron? Like Reagan Democrat or sanitary sewer, sweet tart, light rock, deafening silence, government organization or paid volunteer?

Whatever.

I said I’d take the Obama sticker, pulled out my wallet and paid the minimum.

They asked if I’d like to sign a petition of some sort for somebody.

How much? I asked.

Nothing, the ladies said.

Unfortunately, I’m not a registered Democrat, I said.

Their smiles straightened out a bit.

I’m not a registered Republican, either, I hasten to add, but another lady across the parking lot at Republican Headquarters told me the McCain bumper stickers are free. No “required donation.”

There was a bit of a problem in that the McCain stickers hadn’t arrived. No matter, really, because I didn’t want one, anyhow.

Somewhere I have a Reagan bumper sticker, a Kennedy and Johnson button, a plastic “All The Way With LBJ” stick-on thingamabob, an “HHH (Hubert H. Humphrey) button and—my greatest political treasure —a Harry Truman button.

I thought the Obama sticker would be a good thing to have. Historical reasons, you know.

Someday, I told my wife, that $1 “required donation” bumper sticker will be worth $100. I may not be around to cash it in, but one of the grandkids could and, who knows? Maybe the grandkids could buy some other candidate’s sticker for a $100 required donation (allowing for future inflation).

I still wonder, though, why we should have to pay for political baubles and trinkets. I mean, it’s advertising, isn’t it? And you’d think the idea would be to get the stuff out there to be seen. Not to make money.

When my son was in the Navy, I went to the recruiting station and picked up a nice “U.S. Navy” sticker. It was round with an anchor in it. They didn’t ask for a required donation.

But maybe that’s why Obama has done so well in raising money. Millions and millions of people must be buying his bumper stickers and buttons and other gee-gaws.

Same thing with Hillary, I guess.

A gentleman I bumped into that day at mall said he didn’t think it was right, selling political signs and buttons. He said these things come from the various campaigns and aren’t meant to be sold to the public. He also said he’d bet it’s against the law to charge for a bumper sticker if party headquarters doesn’t report it.

So I moseyed back to Democrat HQ and asked the ladies. Excuse me, but a fellow over there told me this transaction might be illegal, especially if you don’t report it.

No, the party volunteers assured me, that only applies to donations of $25 or more. Did I wish to make such a donation?

Uh, no. But I asked, where does this money go?

To the campaigns, I was told.

Well, that’s fine with me. I have my Obama bumper sticker, although I don’t intend to stick it on a bumper.

I’ll just hold on to it. Maybe I’ll go through that junk in the garage some day and find my political-trinket treasure and add Obama.

Maybe I stick a note to it: “Paid for with a required donation.”

Former Tucson Citizen columnist Corky Simpson writes a weekly commentary for the Green Valley News.