Lamb on the Run: Now, that was a long trip

That was a long trip … Twenty-five years ago a woman, Jaeyana Beuraheng, caught a bus in Thailand, heading for a shopping trip in Maylasia … Only she wound up in Bangkok, because she took the wrong bus … Then she took another bus that didn’t go where she wanted …

So she was gone for 25 years, living much of the time as a beggar and unable to communicate with anyone because of the language difference …

She finally got home when some younger people from her home town were assigned to work in the social services hostel where she was being kept…

…And don’t you know when she finally got home, the kids asked, “Mom, did you bring us anything?”…

…And while she was gone she didn’t get to see “Cheers,” “Hill Street Blues” or “The Love Boat” on television…

Only in California … Now you can buy marijuana at vending machines in the Golden State … But wait, it’s for sale for medical use only…

…Do they have a special button you push to say you want a joint for a medical emergency?…Authorities say there’s security in place to keep non-medical users from getting it…

…I was pleased to see the new development of what you can get from a vending machine, but they ought to sell something really useful … like water melons…

New license-plate spottings … “GARLIC” on a Montana plate (do you think it’s his last name?) …

Correction…Normally, I’d write a correction in the news columns, but I was such a dolt when I wrote the story, I thought I should apologize to astronomer Jeremy Perkins at Mount Hopkins…

…Covering Perkins’ astronomy lecture, I said light travels at 4 million miles a second … Ouch…

…That’s wrong … light travels at 186,000 miles a second…

…And my younger brother once asked, “What’s the speed of dark?”…

Woman, who wouldn’t give her name, reported that a friend in the Midwest called her and said he was fined $200 for killing a pig … He elaborated, saying he and his wife took a wrong turn off the interstate and wound up in a rural area after dark and accidentally hit a pig that was part of a larger herd…

…He added he tried to find the owner, but the first house where he stopped was vacant and no one was home at the next place, so he drove on…

…Only to get a notice in a few days from the sheriff saying he owed $200 for killing the pig and not telling …a kind of hit pig and run…

…The Green Valley woman asked, “Well, how did they find out?”…

…Said her friend, “The pig squealed on me”…

And an apology and a plea for help…A fellow called a few weeks back looking for some U.S. census data…But I lost his name and phone number…

…If you’re that guy, please call, 547-9749…My apologies…

Jim Lamb is a reporter for the Green Valley News who writes a periodic column about Secrets of the Sierra Madre … no wait …It’s about Southern Arizona … Call him at 547-9749.

jlamb@gvnews.com